The Single Chronicles: The Fed Up Woman

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“So how was work?”

I look up from my phone and look at him. I should be thinking about my answer to his question but instead I’m thinking about how I never noticed I don’t like the way he looks at me.

How does he look at me you may ask? Like I’m the most important person in the world yet we have been growing apart of late. We barely see each other and it’s not because we are busy but because we can live without each other.

I’m a lost girl I think to myself.

Why am i lost now?

Why after 3 years?

Because I’m fed up I answer myself.

I look at him and smile.

And my mind strays to the first time we met. We had been introduced by a mutual friend who thought we were absolutely perfect for each other. And the instant we met – him with his brown eyes, dark skin, bald head, medium height, amazing killer smile and a beard to go with it in his african print shirt and chinos and me with my short hair, big brown eyes, chubby cheeks, short in my white dress- I knew my friend had been right. We just clicked.

We’ve had amazing three years together. Or was it two because for the past year we have been arguing a alot. Arguing about how we no longer see eye to eye about most things.

I wonder when we fell apart. I also wonder if we will ever get back what we once had. But one thing is for sure, everything is different.

I feel his hand on mine and I look into his eyes. The spark is gone. I think he knows but he’s not willing to admit the truth. But then again am I?

“Are you okay?” He asks looking concerned.

How do I know? His worry wrinkle is out on his forehead. I want erase it from his face but I don’t move. I just look at him.

“Babe… are you okay?”

“I’m breaking up with you!!” I blurt out loud. “I don’t want us to be together anymore. I love you but it’s not enough.”

Was that my voice?

Did I just tell then love of my life I want a break up? Can I take the words back? Did I just ruin the best thing in my life? Why doesn’t he look surprised? Does he understand? Will he beg me to stay?

We sit in silence for minutes.

“For how long?” He asks eventually

“We no longer work. For a year we have tried to make it work but I’m  tired of fighting. I want out.”

I want passion, excitement, the thrill. But I don’t say it out loud.

“For how long?”

“I don’t know.” I respond.

He looks at me and I see him nod.

“Can we at least be friends?” He asks

I smile. Of course he sees the best in any situation. Even a breakup. Though for the life of me I don’t know why he would want us to stay friends.

“Why?”

“Just because you want out doesn’t mean everything has to go. I don’t want out. I love you. I’ll wait for you. Besides if I’m still your friend then I can still give you this.”

He reaches out into his front pocket and in his hand I see it.

An engagement ring.

Really.