Olaaaaaaaa. Miss me? I know I suck at consistency. I’m guilty. So many people have been asking why I haven’t posted in a while, my answer? One day I’ll write about it. It will probably some epic stuff that will shock you all. One day. Now we are back with Nkani: All That Glitters.
Recap: Those who want to read Chapter 14 again, click here… Yes here.
So 16th January 2016 brought it’s own drama, Thandiwe is still trying to accept her pregnancy; her mother being against her fashion beats the pregnancy kind of dressing is creating a problem for her, especially when James loves her just the way she is. Yolanda is still having (a little too much) fun with Mr Forty. Sonia is at a crossroads and Sampa comes to the rescue, but this doesn’t change a thing about her relationship with Ian? Marriage or no marriage? And Mable… well she just had her call picked up by Chinyama’s mistress or woman friend. What is going on?
New chapter…The drama continues…. Our girls are about to have fun… I hope you enjoy this chapter… xoxo
25th January 2016:
“Good morning beautiful.” He whispers by my neck.
I smile to myself. I get the good kind of chills on my skin. Mornings should always be like this. Waking up next to the love of your life. His lips skim the back of my neck and I giggle. He knows what that does to me. I turn and face him, his arms wrapped around my waist.
“Good morning beautiful.” He repeats.
He kisses my lips, slow and gentle. Just the way I like it. I smile against his lips. I touch his face with my hands and kiss him. Mornings like these should be banned.
“Good… Morning… Isaac.” I tell him in between kisses.
“She responds.” He laughs.
“Let me enjoy the moment.” I smile.
“Sleep well” He asks.
I nod. Nothing beats the feeling of waking up next to him. I look at him committing his face to memory. Up close I can see the flaws on his face all making up an attaractive man in my eyes. I am so blessed. So lucky. All mine.
His lips bend into a smile as if reading my thoughts.
“You my lady are beautiful.” He whispers. “I am the luckiest man in Zambia.”
Sweet talk early in the morning?
“You’re beautiful.” He continues. “Nothing beats this. Do we really need to leave this bed? How about we stay in?”
“That will never work. I need to head home and see my children.” I respond.
“Do you have to?” He asks.
“Yes.” I respond. “They are my children.”
He makes a fake pout which does not suit him. I laugh.
“I know they are your children. This is why your children should live here.” He says.
I laugh. Live here? With Isaac? Why? I am a married woman. He knows this. Why would they live here with him? Is he delusional? Men…
“I can see you later after you’re done, when I am free. How’s that?” He asks. “Lunch?”
“Maybe. I’ll see how long it takes. You know children.” I smile.
He feigns sadness, lowering his eyes to my chin.
“I promise I will be back but I need to see my children.” I tell him slowly, patting his cheek.
He looks at me and smiles.
“I understand.” He says. “I will miss you. I can’t wait to see you and hold you in my arms. Gosh I love you woman.”
He kisses me with such intensity that I think I will only think of only him all day. Gosh. This man just takes my breath away. When he stops to let me breathe I am in awe. I am in love with this man. I really love him. We stare into each other’s eyes for a little longer, our eyes saying the words our mouth fail to pronounce.
“I think we should get married soon.” He says suddenly.
My eyes widen in surprise. Marriage? Where is all this from? Isn’t it a little too soon for him to be thinking about marriage when I am still married to another man? Gosh men and their egos.
“I know you’re who I want in my life Mable. I love everything about you.” You are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
“But Isaac I…”
“Mable, you left Chinyama already. I don’t know why you are still holding onto the past. It’s our turn to be happy. I know you miss the children but they can live here, with us.”
“No Mable. It’s time you let go of the past. Chinyama hurt you. You chose me. This is what we wanted right?”
“Right…” I echo slowly.
“I love you Mable.”
He cuts me off with a kiss. “No buts. You and I can make this work. Chinyama isn’t doing anything to fight for you. He wanted you gone and I am here for you. Day in, night in. In my bed. I love you Mable. Marry me.”
“Marry me and have my babies.”
I wake up from sleep startled. My chest barely surviving my racing heartbeat. What the hell? It takes a few minutes for my heart to get back to it’s normal rhythm, all the while staring at the ceiling letting my mind accept that everything about Isaac was a dream. Or a hopeful future. I don’t know.
A dream, I tell my beating heart. Just a dream. Chinyama is still my husband. For now…
They say time heals all wounds. I think they meant it in months or years and not days or weeks and depending on the crime itself or maybe tge level of anger involved. I must not be angry enough then because I am sleeping with the enemy in the same bed we have called ours for years now. I sleep on my side with his arm on my waist; I feel his breath on the back of my neck creating a never ending sensation of chills on my skin. Wasn’t there a time when the chills were welcome? A time when my husband wanted me in his arms every morning. And now he holds me when he does not even realise he is. These are the moments I should relish. But I don’t. I push his hand slowly so as to wake him up and he doesn’t. He turns away from me to face the other side of the bed leaving me cold. Nothing new there.
I sit up and yawn, pushing the covers away, I get off the bed without looking at the man still sleeping on the bed.
I don’t need to turn to know it’s Chinyama I am walking away from.
Smiles are the order of mornings now. Getting to the office before eight are little miracles that simply happen when happiness is in overload. Give and it shall be given unto you, isn’t that how it goes? I’ve been given and now I’m giving. Whatever. Mr Forty has made my week; with his wife away the man has been at my flat for the most part of the week, after office hours. Late dinners, movies, nights filled with passion have been the order of the week. Wined and dined they say. Pleasure and passion by night, hard work and deadlines by day. Mr Forty and I are certainly good on and off the bed.
I bite my lip to stop mysef from giggling. Good sex just makes a woman happy. I must be glowing, I know I am. Gosh I do not know how we do it. Have sex and work together with no drama. I am sitting in Mr Forty’s office next to an always sulky-he-who-has-an-amazing-smile Masulani. I don’t care if he’s unhappy. I’m happy. That’s all that matters. I look at Mr Forty and his eyes meet mine. No sparks. Mr Forty looking at me like an employee, with the same eyes that undressed me naked early in the morning. His hands are flat on his desk, the same hands that touched my body all night. The same mouth that is talking to me did more than talk most evenings. The mouth of pleasure. Dating older men is definitely fun. Didn’t make a mistake here.
Mr Forty clears his throat and I blink back into reality. I find two sets of eyes on me. Shit I just sit through his instructions without hearing a thing. Shit. Masulani raises his eyebrow at me. Did I start drooling over my boss and wet my shirt with saliva? I straighten my back and look at Mr Forty. His eyes twinkle with mischief. He must know I’m thinking about him, wishing we were home.
“We shall meet with them tonight. Dinner is the perfect choice.” Masulani says. “Don’t you agree Yolanda?”
Shit. I got lost in my thoughts again.
“Hmmm.” I respond.
What the hell is he talking about?
“Nineteen hours should be perfect.” Mr Forty responds.
Masulani stands up and I do the same. I have no idea what is going on or who is meeting who at nineteen. This is why office relationships are the worst. Shit.
“So I’ll see you both later then.” Mr Forty tells us.
Though his eyes on me are saying more than his lips. Its a promise of more. More wine, more kisses, more of everything. Masulani and I walk out of the office. I follow Masulani to his office. Mr Forty out of sight I take the opportunity to admire Masulani’s height. The man definitely has the perfect height for more than just reaching the top cabinet. What I would do to have him lift me. What the hell is wrong with me tonight? I sit across from Masulani in his office and ask him the dreaded question.
“Who are we meeting tonight? Or it’s just you and Mr Boss meeting the client?”
Masulani looks at me, his eyes looking into mine, realising I had not listened to most of what our boss said. He chuckles and shakes his head.
“You absolutely fascinate me.” He laughs.
“What?” I ask.
“Where did your mind wander off to?”
“Other projects.” I lie.
“You suck at lying.” He laughs.
My happiness must be rubbing onto him. He’s laughing. I’m definitely giving.
“We are meeting Petit General Insurance.” He says. “Something about advertising their new insurance products on the market. We are to help them launch it.”
“Great. Where?” I ask.
“Gosh Yolanda. Did you actually get anything he said?” Masulani asks.
I give him my brightest smile.
“I understand why you’re angry.” I tell Mable. “You need to calm down.”
“No you’re not. I know you.”
Gosh I can’t believe she is still angry about this. Her anger truly knows no bounds. Then again Chinyama knew what was coming the moment he went back to Cynthia. Why do men test their women when they know they might end up dead or worse being ignored for weeks? This is such a mess. Chinyama deserves this treatment, but oh my Mable needs to find some healing – sexual whatever – or her anger will kill her.
And to think it’s only Monday. Morning at that, and on an office call for over twenty minutes with Mable who wanted to “talk” about the issue. I don’t think she will be forgiving her husband any day soon.
“I wish I could scream. Or just hit him.” She says. “Stab him.”
“You’ll kill him, you’ll go to jail, your kids will suffer.” I remind her. “Those little babies of yours will be alone.”
She keeps silent for a few seconds, thinking about my words. She loves her children too much to let her anger take them away from her, and she hates Chinyama too much at the moment to give him the easy way out. Easy way out. What would that be? Forgiveness?
“Men. Ata.” She says. “We are fools as women. We stick with these foolish humans. And for what? To be cheated on?”
I don’t respond. She needs to vent and I’ll let her. She deserves it.
“And with her of all people. Gosh. The same woman. You know if it was someone else naybe I wouldn’t be so angry. At least then I’d say well it’s someone new to beat up. But it’s Cynthia again. He is busy can I tell him to you back. ” She taunts. “Did she bewitch him? Did she?”
No word from me. I will not encourage my best friend to lose it.
“I hate him. Men are just horrible. They take and take until we bleed. That stupid man has my whole body, even my vagina. Womb included. He has everything. And he still wants more!!” She continues.
“I have nothing left. Nothing.” She sniffs.
My heart breaks for her. She doesn’t deserve this. Mable is amazing. She deserves better than this but I can’t tell her that. I won’t be responsible for giving her the wrong advice that tears apart a family. They will work it out. They always do. Besides she’s lucky it’s the same woman, having s new woman would mean Chinyama was getting worse. One mistress is better than ten.
“How am I supposed to be happy? I can’t even look at my children without my heart breaking. They look like him.”
“Awww darling. It will be okay.”
“It will be fine. I promise.” I respond.
“How? He’s cheating. I’m the good wife no?”
“Surely by now he must have explained what happened?” I ask. “He just can’t get her back again.”
“Who will explain? Who? I don’t want to hear it.” She yells.
“Okay then what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“You have to know Mable. You need to know. All this ranting isn’t healthy.”
“I don’t know!” She cries.
The classic dilemma of a woman. Leave or stay? Men surely put us through a lot.
“Just talk things out. Sit down. Hear him out.” I tell her.
“No. Hear him out? He will lie to me. Oh my. I’m so tired of this.”
“Think of your kids then. You hate him but you have kids.”
“I never thought I’d be one of those women who stay with a man because of kids. Gosh. Out parents did it. Not us. Not me. I’ve been doing this for so long. Why me?”
“Well who said women can’t stay today?”
I hear her sniff. Mable is a good wife. Chinyama is just trash. Men. No surprise there. I don’t say a word more. I let her cry in silence. I can’t imagine what she’s going through. She tried but obviously if a man doesn’t want you anymore then nothing can stop him from finding happiness with another woman. It sucks that it’s happening to my friend. I wish I could do more for her. All I can do is be there for her like I’ve been for Sonia.
I make a mental note to find time and call Sonia. I can’t afford to have two of my best friends crying.
“We can go to the clinic if you want babe.”
I roll my eyes thankful at the same time that James is standing behind me while I decide if hugging the toilet will make anything better. I hate this part right here.
“Thandiwe.” He says softly.
“Quit stressing James. You’re stressing me out for crying out loud. Please go to work. Let me be.”
“I’m just worried….”
“You know what? Leave me alone. Like go.”
He keeps silent. I feel his hand on my shoulder before I hear his footsteps walking away from me. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and sigh. That was uncalled for. He’s trying to help me and I am not in the mood. I hear a door close and I shake my head. Shit now I feel guilty for being so rude. But to be honest I don’t know why he’s stressing out about me having morning sickness. It’s not going to end anyway. No matter how many times we go to the clinic nothing will change. Until it’s over. Only then. Until then it’s not going to get any better. Gosh these things should happen to people who actually want to go through it. It should happen to those who are ready to puke their lives out because of a bundle of chaos.
I flush the toilet and slowly stand up from the cold floor. I walk to the sink looking at my face in the mirror. I look horrible. I swear makeup truly hides a lot of things on a woman’s face. In as much as I look younger without the makeup, it’s the makeup that makes me look sort of extra beautiful. James does not care about the makeup. To him I’m beautiful day in day out no matter what I wear. I hope he will still think the same when I’m fat and bigger than my size twenty-eight with stretchmarks that tell a horror story.
I slowly lift my t-shirt up to my still perfect c-cup breasts, my eyes stray to my stomach. Still flat thank goodness. I touch my abdomen, rubbing it slowly. There is a little human inside of me right now. Or it’s still a ball of cells or something but he or she will be a mini human. I turn to my side and stare at my abdomen in the mirror. In the side view it still looks flat to me as well. Mama said when I’m three or four months it will start to show. The stretchmarks will start. She says it will be the best feeling ever. I’ll be three months this week or so it’s sooner rather than later. Who cares…
I hear a shuffle and look towards the bathroom door and see James leaning against the door. He stayed? I heard the door. He made me believe he left and yet he didn’t leave the bedroom. He walks towards me, his eyes on me never breaking contact. When he stands in front of me he looks down at me.
“I’m sorry.” I tell him, my hands on his chest. “I’m in such a bad mood. I hate it. I’m sorry James.”
He shrugs and smiles, his smile showing off his imperfect teeth. Ever the happy Mr James. He lifts his hand and touches my abdomen right where my hand is.
“Is that a round shape I feel here?” He asks. “It’s showing?”
I look at him horrified. He laughs. I slap his hand away.
“Very funny.” I tell him
“I don’t know why you have that look on your face babe. You will get bigger you know.” He says
“Yes. When it happens then that’s then. Not yet.”
I push my shirt down covering my abdomen. I push his hand away in the process. I turn and look at the mirror. The handsome and the mess. I meet his eyes in the mirror and he smiles. His hands reach out for me pulling me closer and he hugs me.
“You will be the perfect mother.” He says
“How do you know?” I ask.
“Because you’re an amazing woman. I can’t wait for us to have our baby. You’ll see. It will be perfect.”
I look at him, I can tell from his eyes that he means it. He looks at me, our eyes meeting and in that second I wish he could read the word playing on my mind through my eyes.
The ringing alarm brings a sigh out of me. I’ve been awake for hours, staring at nothing but thinking about everything. I turn and switch off the noisy little thing, yawning as I do so. More sleep I think. Just what I need. I turn groaning in the process wishing I could come face to face with a sleeping Ian on his front, his face in my direction. I know I would smile like I always do and lean in to kiss his cheek. He would not wake up obviously because kissing him never woke him up. But I know what can.
Not the right time, I think. Not yet. Ever since we had our mini argument, Ian and I haven’t found the time to mix pleasure into our busy schedules. The man apologised and I forgave him and that was it. And now I miss it all.
I shake my head and sigh. I sit up and pick up my phone off my bedside table noticing missed calls from Ian and Sampa.
I get off my bed and walk out of my bedroom head to the kitchen. I open the refrigerator and take out last night’s leftovers – lasagne- when I hear knocking at the door. I roll my eyes. Already being bothered even though I’m not heading to work. Gosh. I groan inwardly and head to the door. I open the door ready to give whoever it is a piece of my mind and I find Ian standing outside the door.
“Hey.” I say. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at the office?”
He raises his brows and smiles. He walks in closer and kisses the side of my forehead walking past me and into my flat.
“You just woke up?” He asks
Obviously. I nod and close the door. I face him. His hands are in his blue jeans pocket. I know he’s not been to the office yet.
“You okay? Feeling okay?” He asks.
“Yeah. How are you?” I ask him.
“I am great. It’s a new week. Totally excited.” He says happily.
I wish I felt the way he does now. Gosh even when I’m not going for work Mondays are just the worst for me. I should have stayed in bed.
“Good for you.” I respond.
“Well life is just perfect.”
“Great.” I smile. “You want breakfast?”
“I have lasagne from last night. We can have that before you leave.” I tell him as I head to the kitchen.
“You’re going dressed in your pajamas?” He asks behind me.
“Going?” I ask
“Yes… Going… Driving… Aunt Leah…”
I turn around to face him.
“Oh. That’s today?”
Oh my, it hits me then, he’s off today just like I am. We decided I needed to inform my aunt about the marriage proposal and Ian coming to formalise it all.
“You forgot?” He asks.
I shake my head.
“You totally forgot.” He laughs.
“Lemme take a quick bath.” I tell him. “Wow. I’ve been so preoccupied with stuff. Why didn’t you call me?”
“I did. Missed calls on your mobile.” He responds.
Exactly. Missed calls.
“Okay. You warm the food I’ll bath.” I tell him.
I rush out of the living room and head to my bedroom, undress as fast as I can and head to the bathroom. How did I forget this? Gosh. I am a mess. Besides I’ve been busy with work and more pressing thoughts like if being in this relationship is worth it. I step under the shower, hot water scalding my skin.
Gosh Ian’s family has had me in some sort of mess that I’ve been unable to escape, but surprisingly since they left during the week to visit friends in Zimbabwe it has been sort of better for me. It’s been better between Ian and me as well. Our communication is better too. While I was thinking of ending our relationship, he pushed me to call my aunt and ask to meet her so that we can get everything moving. And yet somehow I forgot this.
I forgot something as important as this.
I frown as a stray thought comes through: Do I really want to get married to Ian if his family does not even like me?
Do I want to get married if I can forget something as important as telling my Aunt about it all?
To be continued…