The Single Chronicles: The Mother

on

378f9d11b5762807a8299d4fdf47c649.jpg

“Stop avoiding the topic. You are thirty. A mother. Why are you single again?”

Because men like you treat women like me like we are scum. But I keep my answer to myself. This is a date and I will live through this hell to the very end.

I’ve been on dates before – when I was in my 20s I remind myself. The dating scene is different when you are in your 30s. Early 30s to be specific. This was my first date since I gave birth to my beautiful daughter 11 months ago; I figured it was time for me to get out there and be social. After all the father of my child was engaged to someone else. What a Pig. Not bitter. Moving on.

I had a list and I tried being social at:

  1. Work – don’t mix business with pleasure
  2. public outings – weirdos and pervs out there
  3. church – hmmm 
  4. clubs-never again;

But no man was interesting enough- when did sex become the most important thing in getting to know someone? And if they found out I had a daughter well let’s just say they took a leap of faith away from me. It’s the 21st century. Having a child is allowed. So technically I had given up the search and decided to concentrate on my work life until some random guy decided to DM me on Twitter and we hit it off.

We chatted. He called often and we just seemingly agreed on most things. So when he asked me out I said yes without reservation.

2 hours later I’m still on the date. I look at him and I’m still trying to figure out where my instincts betrayed me. Because he came out like a gentleman on twitter and not some obnoxious ass of a man he is right now who talked about his money, his cars and his work. Cocky much? Looks are deceiving I knew that, but social characters are too. What a mistake and I wish I could leave but I’m still here. Why? Why am I tolerating his his rude tongue? 

6. Twitter

I pick up my fourth glass of red wine – yes fourth don’t judge me – and sip on it when I notice he’s looking at me. Oh he asked me a question. I smile and put my glass down.

“Because I haven’t found the right man.” I answer.

“That’s what you independent-I-don’t-need-a-man women say. The right one. Which right one? Being picky alright. Yet your friends are getting married, being submissive and having kids at the right time.”

Eh. How did we even get to this topic I wonder. Did he just judge me for having a child before marriage?

“There is no right man. Make due with what you have and change him.” He continues.

I laugh. Only men say men can be changed by a woman. From my experience that’s a lie. Only God and the man himself can change a man. Women who believe that saying are in for the shock of their lives.

“Soon you will be saying if a man cheats we should stay in the relationship because I must make due with what I have.” I retort

“Cheating isn’t basis for leaving a man.” He answers.

“Says the man. Of course. Yet if a woman cheats you walk away. You leave. You dictate the rules but don’t follow them yourselves.”

“That’s different. Sharing a woman is disgusting. Besides the older you get the more likely you’ve been around the block.”

The older you get the more likely you’ve been around the block!! I look at him, laughter gone. What is wrong with this man. He is all shades of wrong.

“For example.” He starts. “Look at you. Your life. You are in your thirties. Quite old. You have a child. And you are single plus you have a good job. Finding a man will be hard for you.”

“Why?” I ask curious.

“Because quite frankly you are too old. Don’t take this badly. You are beautiful and that’s why I like you. But we like young and fresh. Why are you single? What happened to your recent boyfriend?”

“He left.” I answer. No bitterness detected. I’m free.

“Because?”

Before I answer he lifts up his hand to stop me.

“Lemme guess. Too independent. Always wanting to be on top. Never willing to be submissive. Too proud because you earn a lot huh. Am I right? Now you too old and you go on twitter looking for a man so that you can be happy right?”

I shrug. To be honest I’m not gonna answer him. He doesn’t need my answers.

“See. You agree with me. I knew it the moment you walked in the restaurant that you were too proud.”

More wine. Sip.

“I swear that’s what’s wrong with women like you.”

Sip

“Pride. Thinking you rule the world. That any man will fall at your feet.”

Sip.
I need another glass.

“It’s sad. Because how many men are you gonna sleep with before you find the right one.”

Sip
Maybe I need a bottle. He is getting on my nerves.

“Like you. You already got a kid but you will still probably get pregnant again because you believe he’s the right one.”

Sip.
If only he knew what was going on in my mind he would run for his dear life.
Sip

I lift my hand up and smile at him. I’ve had it with this judgmental prick.
“I have to go.” I say. “It was a pleasure meeting you.”

I pick up my clutch and stand up.

“You are leaving? See what I said. You can’t even sit through a discussion. Bet you not gonna pay for half the bill.” He says

I look at him and give him my brightest smile.

“Ever wondered why you are single?” I ask him. “You small minded ass of a man whose job is to insult women above his class. You have degraded my choices and insulted me. I am happy with who I am. Deal with it. I don’t owe you an explanation about why I’m single. I thought you were an awesome guy who I would get to know but my word, you are idiotic at best. Damn stupid at worst. Your life might be perfect like you have implied all night but it’s nothing really. So don’t insult my life like you could have done better. I’m single because men like you exist. And besides you are rich, pay the bill yourself.”

I wish I could tell him all that but instead I say.
“Goodnight. Enjoy your evening.”

And I walk away. Leaving him alone. Let him pay the bill or eat it. I walk out of the restaurant and straight to my car. The drive home will be long but I can’t wait to see my daughter.

Advertisements

40 Comments Add yours

  1. Wow. turns out I read this already.. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes. I think the same day you posted it. For this one, words fail me.

        Like

  2. KayCee says:

    Hahahaha this was hilarious and painful. I am as curious as she is and I too would have stayed that long. Except I would have ordered another wine and then left with the damn thing, bill on him lol
    And this is why I stay single

    Liked by 1 person

    1. vhuvu says:

      Hahaha I would have poured the wine on his face. Yes I’m that bad. I would have the look of shock on his face too. Lol

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Bless Afrifa says:

        Exactly. I would let him know am not only proud but rude. My drink would certainly wash his face

        Liked by 1 person

        1. vhuvu says:

          Hahahaha i like that. Alot.

          Like

  3. Dating struggles!!! Actually, single mum slash late twenties slash early thirties slash power woman dating struggles!!!

    I like how your lady handled the situation with such grace……Personally I wouldn’t have trusted not to throw that glass of red wine in his face……but then again, that would have proved his point – bitterness! I don’t know about other woman sha but I would never compromise the things I look for in a partner because of age or the things in my life i.e., child or career. If it’ll take 40 years to get married but to the right guy with all the qualities I look for then be it. Dating is hard sha…..Way too hard! We’re all in a bloody war to find a husband lmao

    Liked by 1 person

    1. vhuvu says:

      You and I are alot alike. I have decided i will stay single till the right man finds me. Not willing to compromise. uhh this mother had grace and charm. im not blessed with that. i would order another bottle and leave him. lol.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve basically destroyed all the grace in me to extinction. I have none left to give sadly 😦

        Liked by 1 person

        1. vhuvu says:

          Awwwwww. It’s there. I can give you some of mine

          Like

  4. She said what?

    I feel cheated?!

    I was getting excited when I read what I thought her response was! Only for BOOM! Just her thoughts – walks off angry!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. vhuvu says:

      You know how we all say things in our heart but walk away in the end. Lol. Not worth it. Come back. ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Bookenies says:

    This is how so many twitter pricks are. they would just meet you and start judging your last year while they know nothing than what you choose to show them.
    seriously Girl just look at how ma stuck with your words to present. i think am going through your whole blog tonight. your GOOOOOOOD (flame emoji)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. vhuvu says:

      Lol… thank you. Thank you. I swear these boys be the death of human emotions. Ahhh I’ve been judged for being too bold ayi. But I move forward. Always happy. I walk away from such people. You are literally making my night. I’m so happy

      Like

  6. Giiiiiirl! You are strong! I would have left that fucktard after his second sentence. The heck?! Is this an actual real person who said these things? Wow!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. vhuvu says:

      Lol. You are so funny. I would kill him too if it was my situation. I write stories. So this is about what singles go through in the singlehood life neh. I’ve heard of weird stories. Lol.

      Like

  7. Grace Mwendi says:

    How did I miss this the first time? I love this piece. It is sad that such men exist especially on twitter. Smh

    Liked by 1 person

    1. vhuvu says:

      I know right. Lol. It’s horrible

      Like

  8. Jay Colby says:

    I enjoyed your post if you have some free time check out

    Needs V.S Want

    http://jaycolby.com/2016/03/21/need-v-s-want/

    Like

  9. Hehehehehehehe! Well… Spit out that bad peanut and hope the next you pick will taste better.
    That’s the beauty about life. We gotta try try try till we get it right.

    Like

    1. vhuvu says:

      Exactly. That’s the spirit.

      Like

  10. Bwalya says:

    i love it, always staying gracious 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. vhuvu says:

      Thank you my love. Thank you.

      Like

  11. Jorcil says:

    The problems 140 characters bring us. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. vhuvu says:

      Exactly. Hahahaha. Lies. Lies

      Liked by 1 person

  12. sandraboggie says:

    Hahaha there is a right man. There is a right man somewhere. I am not an advocate of take mr wrong and push him to the right. The last time I tried to make a man right, I ended up pregnant and alone. With a head full of HIV thoughts and testing every hour if the virus will just pope. Aanyway, very very nice skills you got there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. vhuvu says:

      Thank you Sandra. I hope the mother lady understood you.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. myliephish says:

    I wish you had just given him that verbal whipping. the bastard deserved it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. vhuvu says:

      Calm down…. lol. You killing me

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Amanya says:

    Hope you blocked him later. Yo, what a man?

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Bana Milo says:

    What a stupid fucktard!! I’m getting so mad just reading this.

    Like

    1. vhuvu says:

      Calm down. Hahaha. You want to kill me in laughter.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Joel Jemba says:

    hahahah your sipping skills in the conversation, top class manners!
    So why are you single? You were about to answer before you were rudely interrupted.. *keeps distance as he asks. . .

    Liked by 3 people

    1. vhuvu says:

      Lol… she’s single / im single because Mr Right is not there right now. Dude is lost with another girl. Sad though. Hmmm. I’m gonna cry and pray for him.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Joel Jemba says:

        Hahahaa your humor though!
        But what if I told you, there is no right person, and such creature doesn’t exist?
        what if I told you?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. vhuvu says:

          Ohhhh I see what you did there. Too smart. Lol. Nooooo. I’m a hopeless romantic. Nooooo. He exists. He who will claim my heart and make his rib. The excitement.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Joel Jemba says:

            Say no more Fam.. say no more!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. vhuvu says:

              Hahahahaha.

              Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s