Last Night: Chronicles of an Alcoholic Pt 3

image

Chronicle is my name,
Mother is my duty,
Wife is an option,
The crave that almost destroyed my life,
Still in my hand,
While my new born looks up at me from his crib,
His blue eyes against my brown eyes,
Shame slaps me,
I cannot bear to face the world with my abomination
I have stayed hidden in this house
Away from the judgement my neighbours are so quick to throw my way
Flood gates of guilt open,
Overwhelming me,
I lift the glass with the amber fluid within,
One taste,
Enough to calm me,
And my world will correct the mess I created,
The shell of a marriage I have left,
To man whose bed I share,
And despise to call my husband,
Still holds me every night,
Forgiveness in his eyes,
Hate in my heart,
I wish he would hate me
But he stays,
Loving me senselessly,
Loving his blue eyed new born,
Even though he too is brown eyed like me,
Protecting our children from the monster I’ve become,
I’m the mummy they’ve always wanted me to be
Just one sip
The flood gates of guilt won’t close
But that’s not the only gate opening,
I gulp the amber liquid quickly
And relish the burn down my throat,
All I need are ten more,
And I will forget
All my troubles
I’ll be perfect,
The perfect mother,
The perfect wife,
Like it all never happened the way it did,
But his blue eyes a constant reminder of my mistakes
His cries fill the air,
My motherly instincts kick in,
Returning to reality I pick up my son,
Calming him as I discard of my glass,
I have to go,
Everyone is waiting for me and my son,
My husband is excited
So are the children.
Today is my newborn’s christening

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s