Last Night: Chronicles of an Alcoholic pt1

I woke up with handcuffs,

It’s not what you think

I need to change

It’s not my first time

It’s becoming a habit,

Last night is a blur

Clinking glasses,

Bright lights

High heels,

Short dresses

Handsome men in suits,

Flashbacks threatening to erupt

That’s not the only thing trying to erupt,

The smell of sweat assaults my senses,

Or maybe it’s something else,

I don’t care,

I need to get up

Then again,

Why bother,

Like I said

It’s becoming a habit

I just can’t seem to stop

They say it will kill me one day,

I relish the thought

On most days

I love the bottle

More than anything

The comfort I find in sucking the bottle dry of its contents

Creates an illusion were I am queen of all

The world bowing at my feet

Kissing the ground I walk on

Before reality takes over

And I realize I’m just like everybody else

Looking for happiness

I can never find

It’s a cycle I’ll never stop

Taking a deep breath I wonder why I am still alive

Time to get up

I have no choice

Time to face the world

Walk of shame they call it

I have clothes in the car for moments like these,

Turning in this bed,

No comfort at all

Bright morning light hits my face

I wonder in which nightmare I’ve put myself in

Last week I was on a hotel bed

The other month I don’t even want to remember

Are there even sheets on this mattress?

And then I see his face

He looks familiar

Smiles and drinks

Friends and laughs

Kisses and cars

Keys and walls

I remember that much

Don’t need the rest

I should wake him up and thank him

Then again I don’t care,

At least he’s handsome

Something I can live with

My hand still in the cuffs stuck to the bed post

I need the key

I am naked,

My dress, my underwear, my clutch

On the floor

What is the time?

I need coffee

And my phone

All I wanna do

Is call my husband,

My children

And tell them mommy is safe.


2 Comments Add yours

  1. I’d need to reference this in a future post lol. I have my own reasons to join Alcoholics R Us!! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. vhuvu says:

      I used to love the drink too much in the past but not to her extent. lol


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